Bonus-Diabetic

RESET.  It's a powerful button to press for yourself.  Or so they say. It was a tough week away from my boys but with the help from my village and the peace that encompasses me when I'm at Lions Camp, it was a successful week.  My goal for this week was to give the campers the best camp experience, just like I got all those years ago. This place has always brought peace to my soul but this year was different. This year I left 2 babies and a hubby at home. This year I cried before I even got to camp because I didn't think I'd be returning again. How could I? How could I continue to be so selfish taking a week away? This year was different. It touched my soul in ways I never thought possible. When I passed that lion on my way through the gates, I was reminded of a part of me. I was reminded of what makes me, me. This year was different and it was difficult but I needed it now more than ever. Camp has an amazing power to take a disability and change it into the ability to ...

My last post was titled COVID tested me as if it was a past tense thing. It's so funny to post a title and then chuckle to myself because I knew it wasn't true. It didn't take long for work to show me how much more COVID has been testing me and continues to test me.  Let me be honest, COVID is still testing me.  I stood there shoulder to shoulder with my co-workers as we watched the life leave his body. The flashing red on his monitor normally initiates the hysteria that Hollywood plays up, it's called a code. Tonight my eyes welled up with tears because I knew he wore a purple band around his wrist to signify NO CPR. He knew pushing on his chest would be futile but he had given me a glimmer of hope and it faded in that instant.  I balled the whole drive home. I wanted to punch a wall I was so angry. He was with us for at least 3 weeks and I was privileged to care for him during his time with us. It was the start of the worst month this year because we were losing so...

  It was the worst migraine of my life. It was the second day that week that I had woken up with congestion but this time it didn't resolve after an hour. I wanted to lay there forever but like a Mother and diabetic must do, I got to the day ahead. I went for our daily walk and I just didn't feel good nor could I breathe well. When that test came back positive I literally couldn't believe it. I really thought it was a cold. Then the puzzle pieces fell into place. I wear my mask everywhere so I know that it wasn't out and about but I was stumped about where I contracted it. Lunch time. It's the one time at work I don't have a mask on and honestly it was more my snack time (I work weird hours). An asymptomatic co-worker tested positive and that is where they are guessing that it happened.  Missing work was not in the cards but there is no option. They don't take responsibility for the toddler so my work as Mom was not halted. My husband who already works from ...

I was asked such a simple question, "How does that even happen?" It left me with just a smile because I knew what a lengthy explanation it would need and I didn't think I had it in me. Until now.  I often describe my life as a science experiment and of course I am half kidding when I say it but the reality is it is so very, very true. One of the best ways to talk about diabetes is to share what a mealtime looks like. Prior to sitting down to a meal you and your doctor have come up with a plan for how many units of insulin to give for a certain amount of carbohydrates. For this example let's use 1 unit of insulin for 10 grams of carbs. Now the food is placed before you. But wait are you sitting in a restaurant and are trying to guess if that pasta dish has 2 or 3 cups of pasta? 1 cup of pasta generally counts for 45 grams of carbs. Now will you eat the whole thing or just half? What sauce is on top? Yep carbs are in sauce! You want a breadstick too? Ok well you can loo...

42. If you're a baseball fan maybe you are thinking about Jackie Robinson. If you aren't a baseball fan, maybe you haven't a clue who Jackie Robinson is and if that is the case please close this blog, go figure out how you can educate yourself and at least maybe watch the movie 42 that will hopefully teach you about a snapshot in American history. Also, shame on you if you don't know who this baseball player was in American history. Anyways, 42 was my blood sugar when I got to see my son for the first time. I know you read that right. Go back look at the number and please for the love of all things holy pick your jaw up off the floor. So, I am telling you this to educate you on the lack of endocrine knowledge, in particular, in the OB world. Now if you work in the OB world and know so much about diabetes I commend you. In reality, ,many in nursing, in general, don't have a clue about the difference between type 1 and type 2 diabetes. How do I know this? 1. I am ...

I heard it thousands of times while I was pregnant with Lorenzo. I assume it was because I was a miserable pregnant woman. I still feel ashamed for the faces I gave coworkers when they asked if I was able to put an IV in or place a special NG tube into their patients (both are things I am specially trained to do).  It will be worth it. I suppose they meant the misery would be worth it when he was no longer destroying my insides. I couldn't sit at work for the last 2 months of my pregnancy. I had a donut pillow to attempt to make me comfortable. It failed. But they were right. It was totally worth it. When I saw him through the plastic sheet in the OR, my heart grew. It practically exploded. I hadn't even held him yet and I could already feel my heart love him. I imagine my heart did the same thing it did at the end of the movie for the Grinch. It grew 3 sizes, right?  That positive pregnancy test had me dreaming of that same moment happening again. This time it would ...

As I was winding down for the night, I could not shut off my brain. I was thinking about EVERYTHING. Would I be ok at work in the morning? Would I bring the virus home with me? How would I detox my belongings when I got home? How would I keep my loved ones safe? Was this what my husband felt when he was on the front lines in the middle east? Did he feel like he had enough supplies? Was he protected?  I tossed and turned so long that when my husband came to bed I was still awake so we started talking about the thoughts going through my mind. I asked him about what got him through war. I understand that he was protected with large guns and gear while I am simply protected by disposable cloth and reusable plastic to cover me from nearly head to toe. However, the reality is, this virus too can be deadly and I may not have to fear someone shooting my limb off but I do have to fear that my chronic disfunction within my own body may put me at greater risk if I do become infected with th...